2 Stories: I had to ask Cotton or Lace? and Friends with benefits Rejection

Hi all!

My friend asked me to post some of my internet dating stories for your enjoyment.  I was a part of Match, Plenty of Fish, eharmony and yahoo. Each one gave me someone and some event to talk about. With that said here is my first story from a flex match on eharmony


For those who don’t know, on EHarmony they have full matches and flex matches. Flex matches is when they can’t find someone who is “compatible with you on all 29 characteristics.” Most of the time they can’t find someone who is fully compatible with me. Just so you know if you decide to use EH. Being Asian, ambition is very important to me so one of my first questions is “what are some of your goals?” I was messaging with a prominent university Department Head and was very interested based on his profile. Below is how our first conversation went:

Me:   What are some of your goals?

He:     To wear women’s underwear.

*lol…That’s all I needed to know… but I had to ask

Me:     Cotton or lace?

He:       Lace.

Me:      Well best wishes in your search. I only wear cotton.

Friends with Benefits

From Match I got this guy messaging me. We messaged for a little and he asked me to check out his profile. Gees this man was full of himself… his profile was no exaggeration 3 pages down! After reading about 1 paragraph 6 lines. I gave him my opinion on it. He then said he was attracted to me because Asian women are the “sexiest on the planet”, “have the best hygiene” and “smell the best” *shivers – creepy*

I told him I wasn’t interested as he was 5 inches shorter than I am (I’m tall – 5’9″) so he asked if we could just talk and that he respected my decision. I said he could text me and gave him my google voice number. We texted for a couple days and then he decided he was going to MAKE me want him (boys, why do you do this? such a turn-off).

On the 3rd day he asked if I would like to get together with him “for a fun time”

Me: No.

He: I could make you scream and “see heaven”

Me: I don’t believe in heaven.

He: We could be friends with benefits

Me: We are not friends

I then blocked him from google and Match. Its a hilarious and tough dating scene out there. Really!? “I could make you scream and see heaven”….lmao

**Next week El D-Spot will post one of my ultimate best stories of something I experienced a few months ago. Its totally worth the read 🙂


Blogging about how I suck at….blogging

Hi Loves,

I’ve come to the realization that I’m a bad blogger. Its reminds me of having a diary when I was a kid. And I sucked at having a diary. Normally I would write in it as soon as I got it and then 5 years later I’ll find it with only that first entry and I would swear that this time I will keep up….But I never do. My friend that’s a writer suggested I should make a schedule and dedicate myself to it. Wake up at 7am… work out…(never happens by the way)….8am….breakfast and emails…. 10am….New Post on Blog….and so on. I suck at routines…and I don’t eat breakfast. Aside from being a writer my friend is also somewhat of a life coach. I love her, she rocks my world. I have no clue how she keeps so motivated. She has a daily schedule taped to all four walls of her room and on her ceiling. So when she wakes up, she knows exactly what needs to be done and is constantly being reminded of that. In retrospect, I should do that….hhmm…

Anyways, she has some hilarious dating stories herself and she is going to send them to me for your reading pleasure. Because I suck at keeping up with the writing and because I love hearing other people’s stories, I want to open my blog up to anyone that would like to post. Feel free to share your own funny story with me. I’m still figuring out how to make it into a forum. But for now, you can send me your story via email: ElDSpot@gmail.com, let me know what author name you would like to give it or if you want to stay anonymous, and I’ll post it 🙂 … Thank you for reading my blog…hope you had some laughs 😉

Best First Date: Wings, good conversation, spontaneity, Orlando?

So my loves…. I had the most interesting first date ever last night…..and based on the events that occurred I’m categorizing it as the Best First Date Ever, based on the level of fun and randomness. So, boy picks me up, we go to dinner. Not gonna lie, cute, tall, good body, nice smile, and chivalrous to boot. During dinner we are talking about everything and anything. We could go from making jokes to questioning each others ideals on certain topics. It was great. He would call me out on my bullshit and I would call him out on his. And if you know me, its nice to find a guy that can put me in my place and be secure enough for me to do the same back to him on certain issues. No more ‘girly’ guys for me ( J… ;)…). So, dinner ends and he asks me what I want to do now. I told him anything. So he gets on the turnpike north…. and then we are on it for a while…I ask him where are we going?….he says HardRock in Ft. Laud. …. we pass a sign that says turnpike north Ft. Lauderdale/Orlando. Jokingly I say ” If we are going to Ft. Laud might as well go to Orlando” …he says “You want to?” …. I reply “Are you serious!?”… He says “Yea” ….if you know me I can’t turn down a dare…. so I replied “I’m game lets go”. I have to say, was it kind of crazy in retrospect…hell yea… was it spontaneous and exciting…fuck yea!!…..I think spontaneity is one of those qualities that is highly underrated in a partner. After a while of being in a relationship you get into a routine and lose some of that unexpected, let’s do something for the hell of it, type of spontaneity that makes your relationship exciting. So, why not start off on a great note and be spontaneous on our first date.

For 3 and a half hours driving up, all we did was talk about everything. Work, family, ambitions, the works. And let me just say, road tripping with someone is a pretty big commitment. If they are annoying as hell you are stuck with them in a small space….for hours!.. I mean, I can’t give you a better description of hell. Thank God I didn’t suffer through that with him. We get there…decided we would probably sleep over but the boy gets hungry and we go to Buffalo Wild Wings in Orlando. We are sitting there, he’s eating and then both of us pretty much come back to earth and realize all the shit we have to do for work the next day and how we really can’t waste the day having fun in the theme parks at Orlando (which, had we had the day free from work would’ve been our plans). So wings over, we head to the car, pass by a drunk girl having a fight with her friend who claims she punched her….you had to be there…that chick was fucking funny!!….hell, we almost ran her drunken ass over because she was about to walk right in front our rolling car…she flips us off …and proceeds to stumble off on her merry way.

Another 4 hours in the car and my date that started at 6pm officially ended at 6:13am. My friends that’s a Lot of conversation. I mean, you really get to know someone and what they are about by being stuck with them in a car with nothing but the radio on low in the background and your tired minds trying to stay awake till we made it back to Miami. In a nut shell… fun, exhausting, spontaneous, the making out didn’t hurt either 🙂 , and good company. Best First Date. We’ll see how it goes with the boy 😉  so far…on to a good start 🙂

Brand New Bitch

Hi Loves,

So, my best friend just got her heart truly broken for the first time. Long story short, mature (has her shit together) girl falls in love with immature (always changing my mind, have no clue what I’m doing with my life loser) girl….My description of the other girl might be a little bit biased but she broke my bestie’s heart so she deserves it ;)….. anyway, it was a roller coaster relationship and after a trip in Italy when things couldn’t be worse the immature girl professes her love for mature girl. Mature girl falls for the lie and soon after they get back to the states immature girl fucks another chick. Bestie’s heart breaks. At some point bestie finds passages in diaries and Chat conversations of immature girl saying how fat, ugly, and disgusting my mature girl is. Its been a little while since bestie has begun the healing process and even though she has moments of weakness, regret, and the kind of pain only someone that’s been in love experiences, she has started to pick herself up from the ground, realize her self worth, and has begun putting the pieces of herself back together. Through these hard times my bestie has found a new appreciation for her true friends, her family, and for the strong person she didn’t realize she was. To my bestie, I love you. And to everyone out there that’s going through a rough time remember that you are loved and that whoever that boy or girl is was just an immature loser girl/boy.

Below is the song my bestie sent me to reflect how she currently feels inside. So, to all my loves out there that have gone through a similar heart breaking situation and have begun healing. This is for you 😉 !!

My Pussy is Golden

Hi Guys,

I know its been a while since my last post. Mostly that stems from the fact that I have a lot to say and no clue where to start. However, some funny shit happened last night that I have to share.

I exchanged texts with a guy I fucked once and the dialogue that ensued would of course, only happen to me. A little bit of background on us. We talked for a while before having sex but nothing serious. His main purpose to me was to satisfy my sexual appetite and I assumed the same applied for him. I’m 26, he’s in his early 30’s (he told me his age and info on himself, but when you’re just a fuck I tend to not waste memory cells on useless information like personal data).  The one  piece of info that stood out was that we had graduated from the same university. And I am very dedicated to my school since it was a fantastic 4 years of my life and I love our football program. We met once, fucked, great cock but he came fast and it was disappointing since I didn’t get off. I’m a brutally honest person, so after he apologized for cumming early he asked me if I was disappointed to which I answered hell yea. I came to get my orgasm on and had to finish myself up later on that night. He begged for me to give him a second chance so he can make it up to me. My reply was that since we went to the same university that I would consider a second chance. If it weren’t for that I wouldn’t think twice about dropping him completely. But truthfully a month went by and he never crossed my mind.

Last night my college alma mater was playing football and I mass texted my support for them. Since he is alumni from the same university he was one of the recipients. Below is the conversation that resulted from that text. Hope you enjoy 😉


Him:    How are you? Where are you watching the game?

Me:      Good 🙂  I’m at my sister’s place….. We r kicking ass tonight!

Him:    Cool. Where is your sister’s place?

Me:       In the grove

Him:     Miss you

Me:       Aaaaawwwww    you’re too cute

Him:     Love you

(inside my mind: what!! Awkward!!  did I read this wrong? he has to be joking…. he better be joking)

Me:      Lol….thanks 😉 ….. You’re so hilarious….. you just love my pussy

Him:    I love all of you…… Marry me

(inside my mind: WHAT!!…. immediate reply)

Me:     What!! Now I know you have to be drunk   lol…. if you’re not drunk and you still wanna marry me even though we only met once then I know my pussy is made of gold and I’m the best lay on the land…lol

***Early this morning he texted me if I was free tonight. I replied that I was, but since he’s just a fuck I assumed he asked so we could hook up and he could make up the sex to me since he sucked last time. Unfortunately I have my period so I told him, I’m free but we can’t do anything since I have my period. He replies “then we could just hang out and not do anything”. hhhhmmm…Ok. I’m curious. I want to find out what the texts were about last night. So I agreed to see him tonight. I’ll keep you posted on how this turns out 😉

**On a side note, I told my best friend (who happens to be a lesbian) what happened and she replied via text:   Oh no. See, you don’t have to be a lesbian because you get all of these damn clingy ‘like a girl’ guys…..lol

Titanium Balls/Ovaries

For a while now, I debated how to start my blog and what to make it about. Originally, I started this blog after multiple friends randomly suggested I begin one and share all my crazy tales of the dating/FWB (friend’s with benefits) world. And even though eventually I’ll  tell you all my juicy stories, for now I felt the need to go back and explain some of my background. I guess you could say the reason I procrastinated on writing anything in this blog is because I lacked inspiration. And tonight I experienced a moment with myself (….No…I wasn’t masturbating…lol) and this moment was so profound that I felt the need to record it in words.

As my friends and family know, I’m a pretty stubborn, lovable, loyal, protective, and tough person (I’m a Leo… I can’t help it). I don’t appreciate drama of any kind and I absolutely abhor the feeling of being suffocated by someone. You may be asking yourself, what does she mean by suffocated? Obviously no one likes suffocation unless you’re into that type of thing… but the type of suffocation I’m referring to is in reference to clingy, jealous, blowing up your phone, has issues with what you wear out with your girlfriends, insecure, sad, sad, men (or women for my lezzies out there). To avoid such a sticky situation I refrained from forming any deep relationship with my partners and preferred to keep it on a superficial level. Namely sex. But eventually that gets old and one of the symptoms of having a vagina (and being a human being in general) is the need to obtain a connection with someone so deep, that you tumble into your preconceived notion of what “love” is and feels like.  Not until almost a year ago did I allow myself to fall in love with someone.  Of course, as with all relationships, when it was great it felt beyond everything. The world disappears, your partner’s flaws aren’t that big a deal, you can’t stop thinking about them, but most importantly, when you touch, kiss, or have sex, you feel a reverberation travel through your body like you never felt before. A passion, a need, a hunger, a total consumption. For the first time I felt a swell in my chest and it wasn’t for a friend or a family member…..it was for a boy….my counterpart. You guys, no kidding, I felt like the Grinch….when his heart grew 3 times bigger in a day. To tell you the truth it was quite uncomfortable. I felt like my chest was too tight. In retrospect maybe I was passing gas or something. Anyways, like most of these stories go, when it ended it was devastating. In the story of most relationships (if not all) you will always have a villain and a survivor (I never appreciated the idea of a victim, so I prefer to refer to the villain’s counterpart as a survivor). I just happened to fall into the survivor category. In a nut shell this is how it went down….girl hesitates to fall in love…boy says “trust in me, have faith in me, I won’t hurt you”…. Boy breaks his word and is the first to run away after he….not me…. Says “I can see myself being married to you and having kids with you” (and to be 100% honest, for the first time in my life that felt like a great idea, something I could see myself doing with him). Mind you, I never pushed for a ring or anything like that because….why ruin something that’s perfect? (can you tell I’m a little bit marriage/commitment phobic?)

Well ladies and gents, he knocked me on my ass. Slap in the face. Everyone knows I’m not a crier and in the rare occasions I do shed tears it’s because my heart was deeply torn. Normally it stems from a death, or from seeing someone in extreme pain and feeling helpless in alleviating it. This time, the cause was a boy. Before falling in love I always told myself to never shed a tear for a man. And apparently sometimes you even break the promises you make to yourself. My friends and family saw a little bit of the tears….they mostly felt the heavy heart. But in the privacy of my room, while confining myself to my bed all day for hours on end with only my thoughts to comfort me, I felt as if a well of sorrow ruptured and wouldn’t stop pouring out of my eyes. I realized that I gave the boy the power to make me feel so unbelievably sad. And knowing that truth made me feel even more sorrow. But most of all it made me angry at myself.  I am a firm believer that no one should ever be given the power to make you feel ugly, sad, broken, or betrayed. And I understand that this statement is flawed in the sense that, in order to feel elated and incandescently happy, you allow cracks in your armor which in turn allows your partner’s actions or words to pierce through your heart like daggers.

Last night, I saw a picture on facebook of the boy. And he titled it “Just for you…” ……The picture consisted of him smiling and a girl immediately commented on it and mentioned how sweet he was. Prior to this picture I noticed that he had gone back to all the pictures of us together or of me that he commented on or “liked” and removed his loving comment and “unliked” them all. I honestly felt like he was trying to erase me. As if I didn’t exist. This, was coming from the boy that broke my heart while promising that he loved me, was still IN love with me, and that swore all he needed was time, to better himself to be worthy of me. He might be dating this girl, or I might be reading too much into things and they might be friends. My friend suggested that I ask him if he was dating someone. To which I responded, “I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I might be jealous”. That would be just another piece of me that he takes with him and I think he ripped off a good enough chunk the first time around.

I was in my car, driving, and the thought of him feeling worthy enough for someone else was bothering me to no end. What has changed now? What does she bring to the table that I never did? Who is this bitch? Why is he still under my skin after so much time has passed? Why did I choose him to be the first boy I give my heart to? Why was I so stupid? How pathetic am I that I feel hot drops of water, slowly rolling down my eyes, over my cheeks, pooling underneath my chin to fall down onto my chest? How could I have given him the power to make me feel so deceived and broken?

I got home and undressed for my nightly shower. As I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, something inside of me said “stop…..look at yourself”.  I have never felt insecure or ugly about myself physically, but while questioning myself in the car I felt ugly about the power I had given him and how angry he made me feel at my own character. He cracked my armor, passed through my barriers, and pierced me at the core of who I am. I felt pathetic and ugly that I allowed a boy to make me doubt my character and inner self. I squared my shoulders, held my head high, stared into my eyes, and within me I heard “You are beautiful”. I kept on hearing it in my mind as if it was a beacon of my soul reflecting itself into my eyes. I stood there, naked, emotionally raw, tall, beautiful, (gorgeous tits if I may say so myself), glowing skin, and I kept hearing a voice from within my chest, my soul, my inner God, Goddess, Buddha, Deity, Spirit, Ancestors and they kept on chanting “Look at yourself….. You are beautiful!”  I began to cry again, this time not of melancholy, but of pure fascination of the woman I am. I felt like Xena warrior princess. Yea I’m a tough bitch, I’m loud, I’m a lioness, I protect those I love, I am there when needed, I open my heart and arms to all of those in need (human or animal), I am strong, I Feel, I’m naïve at times, but at least I’m not so jaded that I can still be naïve and trust the good in others. I allowed myself to be burned by someone and that scar has fortified my heart. I gave him the power to let his actions hurt me but I never gave him the power to break me. Here I am, looking into my eyes, shoulders back, neck straight, head held high, hands on my hips and I am one hot, sexy, unbelievably gorgeous bitch. And you better believe that no one can take that from me. No matter how many times my heart might break, or my spirit feels broken, or pounds I gain or lose, or scars I obtain on the inside or out.

**Moral of the story** When you are at your lowest or feel exhausted or need to be reminded of your strength. Bare yourself to a mirror. Stand there naked, and raw, stare directly into your eyes, and you might be surprised at what your inner light, voice, soul, spirit, (whatever you want to call it) might say about who you are. I’m not a bible thumping, uber spiritual or religious person. But tonight, I allowed myself….to listen….to myself, and remind me of the fucking titanium balls/ovaries I was born with and the fucking awesome person I am and strive to be.